Falling for you
by xsasuhinax
Summary: Misa and L have been friends their whole lives. As they grow up together the more they drift apart, to the point were L leaves for five years. Would he realize how much more Misa means to him than he thinks, before it's too late.


Born into the World

L and Misa knew each other for the longest time, even before Misa was brought into the world. Her parents were well acquainted with a man named Watari, who owned an orphanage for gifted kids. The first time L met Misa was when he was taken into the orphanage by Watari. He was only five at that time but one could tell he would be brilliant just like one could tell Misa would be beautiful. Being a five year old, however, he did not have the ability to distinguish beauty simply by looking at the woman still in labor, no matter how smart he was. The moment the woman asked the young boy, "Isn't she beautiful?" he knew what his response would be, "I don't see how you can tell if she is or not."

The First Word

L was six by the time Misa was born. During the months in between the birth and her close coming birthday he would have Watari bring him to visit her. The first question she had asked almost a year ago still had the same response in his head. Though she may not have asked it more than once, he could not get rid of it so easily. It bothered him that he couldn't understand why she found it easy if the child was beautiful.

He had 70% estimate that if he took the child and hid her among others that were similar she wouldn't be able to tell them apart. Still it didn't go higher because of the confidence in her voice when she said something about 'mother's intuition'. When she finally reached the age of one, though a bit late, she said her first word, "Lali", her parents, were ecstatic, trying to get her to repeat herself over, and despite her lack of understanding subconsciously repeats. Her parents believed she had said either mommy or daddy, but they were both wrong. How did he know? She was saying his name.

The Conversation

Though her parents managed to get her to speak the common names of mama and dada, she would still often say "Lali", proving he was the first. The parents still did not realize she was talking about him, but he couldn't blame them. Misa and Watari were the only two people he told his name. Not even the other boys at the orphanage knew. They all knew him by his first name.

The moment she knew his full name he made her only call him by his first, to never say Lawliet. For the next two years he spent a lot of time with Misa, getting her to talk, she was mostly focused on everything else but him. L was unsure why he preferred the company of their child than the kids his age. It may have to do with the fact that with her he could feel normal. Trying to talk in simple terms is harder with an adult than a three year old. A three year old cannot understand no matter how much you dumbed it down, so naturally it can not make you feel if you stand out when it comes to IQ.

It didn't stop him form trying inculcate her his vocabulary. It would be nice to talk to someone with his IQ, no more no less, but at her age he would be lucky if she understood what 'postulate' meant. One of his most successful days in teaching her was in the park on the grassy field, with her parents and Watari at far distance, enough to where they could not hear. The weather was friendly enough to sit in the grass and talk...sort of.

"Do you know what restless means?" he asked, staring at her unfocused gaze. She responded with a shake of her head...again. "It means notable, to relax, never still" "Wike me, right"? She bounced up and down energetically. "Yes, do you know what a compliment means?". "A nice sentence for someone?" He nodded allowing her to pick another flower than the field. It was her way to focus; a child will do something if they get something else in return. Her definition wasn't exactly what he wanted but it was close enough. She huffed and folded her arms, "don't wanna more" "You forgot to add I," "I don't wanna do more," even L couldn't get her to do too much, she wasn't exactly the brightest.

Her eyes grew big along with a smile as she pointed behind him. "Look, a butterfly!" They both watched the flying insect make its way out of the tree and fade into the sky. "B-beautiful, right?" Another big word for her but that did not catch his interest. ("Isn't she beautiful?") A question he had almost forgotten three years ago, looks at her now. To him he would notice something unique but not enough to be beautiful. Her clear smooth skin, her light blue summer dress with ribbons attached, her gleaming brown eyes, and her clean blondish hair tied into pigtails that flared out her innocence to the world. Without thinking he said, "I could actually fall for you," "Wouldn't that hurt?"

Getting Sick

It was a shame that no matter how much Misa grew physically, emotionally, and mentally he would still be five years ahead of her. At first he thought spending time with Misa was just a desperate need of friendship without actually having to get close. The moment she turned six, however, and he was in 7th grade, he realized how much she meant to him...as a friend. Boys his age would normally be into older girls such as teachers and babysitters. Not that he liked her in that way, she was his real friend. While she was singing songs, he spoke in another language; while she drew pictures, he painted murals; she slept during nap, he conducted experiments, and so on and so on. He was too intelligent to hang out with a girl her age, was what most people would say. Watari had never said anything about it, especially since he was the reason he met her.

Another thing he noticed was how more social she had become, even more than himself, not that he was gregorious anyway. Misa would light up the room and everyone seemed to want to be her friend, and she lets them. Misa would cut out hearts for boys and stars for girls. Heart for boys showed her interest for them, a common characteristic for girls. Girls usually stay like that most of their years. Boys would go through a change from liking girls to bugs and back to girls, while growing.

The good part of her being six was that was easier to prepare her for the next level. Their conversation was longer, to an extent, and she seemed more focused on him. Of course she would still get distracted. L got sick one day and did not have the energy to leave the bed. Truthfully it was his first time getting sick and the feeling was horrid.

L refused to let the boys at the orphanage see him, but it didn't work the same with Watari and Misa. Apparently she had her whole class cut out hearts with "get well" on it. Impressive for a girl her age, especially since her friends did not know him. It was the only time he had gotten sick, and it felt good to be alive and well.

Protecting Them

"Isn't she beautiful?" L hears a woman saying to her husband, the child cradled in her arms. That very same question that slipped from his mind years ago. He was now sixteen and Misa was eleven, the age difference still and will always be the same. Yes, her physical appearance had changed a lot during the years, yet he didn't notice the change till now. She was taller, as one could expect any person to be as they grow to a certain age. She no longer wore dresses, only jeans and casual form fitting clothes.

Nothing inappropriate for her age besides the short-shorts. It was sad how she now spent more of her time with her friends and boys she liked than studying for a better future. He wasn't jealous of the boys; that they were Misa's type, or her age, how they made her laugh the way L could make her, or how Misa talks about her day with them. It wouldn't make a difference either, jealous or not, she was still too young for him and by the time he reached the age of eighteen any interest in her would be... illegal.

Even if he did have any other feelings for her, which he didn't, she wouldn't be interested in him other than as a friend. Their friendship meant a lot to Misa just as it meant a lot to L. He wouldn't dare ruin it, not to mention his good reputation as a luminous student. One they say had potential to become the world's greatest detective. Hm, an interesting career choice but still unreassuring. He had the knowledge to become more than just as detective if he really wanted too. He was a Polyglot, a connoisseur, a tennis and chest champion, acceptance in the most prestigious colleges, an IQ that exceeds some of the brightest men in the world. He may admit that the world's knowledge is not confined in his own mind, such as cure for diseases or most medical related stuff, his mind could be used for more than himself. The decision is whether or not to use it for others. To help and protect people like...Misa?

A Strong Friendship

After so many years it was hard to tell if one's friendship could grow stronger or would simply stays the same. People think years of friendship will always grow stronger yet a small incident can destroy the long work forever. Maybe the bond isn't as strong as one would think. L and Misa did not have an argument that could be considered anything but serious. Only simple and joyous quarrels. Two years and L did indeed become a detective.

Their relationship finally made a stop. He was eighteen and of age and she was not. Not that he was interested. L noticed something during most of his years as a teenager. About 60% of them were destructive, loud, disobedient, eagerly sexual, and emotionally unstable. Though him and the boys from the orphanage knew and were better than them, what worried him was Misa. She was only thirteen and he knew she was easily influenced by the young culture of today that could ruin her life. He would make sure that would never happen.

Hello and Goodbye

A turn for the worse L would say. Misa would beg to differ. Not only was the school she was sent to corrupted in his view but her boyfriend was... a prick. The boy's name was Light Yagami, though he seems kind, brilliant, and respected by many there was something about him, L couldn't put his finger on. Something he just didn't like about the boy. The reason he never said anything about it to Misa was the idea that she might hook up with someone far worse.

Misa spent the next four years in high school enjoying her relationship with Light. Her relationship with Light grew as strong as her relationship with L. Though he didn't trust Light, there was not one speck of evidence that proved it. His grades were extremely high, multiple volunteering for the weekend, never been in a fight, no drugs, medication, no mental conditions, or illness of any kind.

He was a clean slate. He never even cheated on his old girlfriend in any shape or form. Her heart was dead set on him, her days and conversations were mostly about him. Misa and Light spent a lot of their time after school everyday studying, talking, laughing, the basic activities of a date. Her parents were happy with the boy she chose. The worse part was she stopped spending time with L, it made him feel...lonely? He assumed that he had spent almost all his life with her, it was unusual not to spend more than a day or two without her. Almost as if he had an obsessive-compulsive disorder, but that was ridiculous. He simply lacked the desire for anything more than the necessary, like his room for example, completely white with only a computer.

As much as he would love to find more, if any dirt on Light Yagami his good time would have to come to an end. One of his cases involved going out of the Country, and he wasn't sure how long he would be gone. He waited a week to see if Misa noticed his absence, she didn't. All her focus was now on Light and probably for the rest of his and her life. Maybe it was simply better this way, he taught her to be prepared for educational purpose and this was her time to learn the rest for herself. He never got to see her finish her first year in high school. He left and she still never knew, but even in this most tragic part of his life he still wished her all the happiness of the world.

The Fallen

Five years passed, including a year after Misa had finished high school she became ill on her nineteenth birthday. She was hospitalized and placed in her own room, similar to her best friend L's room, except with more stuff and with a window to brighten it up. At first it started with a high fever that lasted two days, then she returned to school but only to faint the next day from the same fever. It lasted another two days before she started to feel better, yet her parents insisted that she stayed one more day. She did and fell again with the fever, body shivering from the feeling of coldness despite the rising of her temperature. That was the first sign she experienced before she was sent to the hospital. She was diagnosed with Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

She spent a year hospitalized, treatments that doctors would give to their patients with this illness would solve the problem. For Misa however, it did nothing but prolong it to a certain extent. Still even through the tough times Misa would smile, especially when her friends, family and her boyfriend came to visit her everyday. Her empty room that once reminded her of her best friend was soon filled with thoughtful gifts in order to superficially help her get better.

As days went by within the year her symptoms developed more, only showing her the worse of herself. Her bright clean hair became thin, straw-like dull, no matter how much she tried to balance the conditioning and shampooing in her scalp. The moment her soft smooth and clear tan skin became deathly pale and slightly covered with tiny red spots, she made the nurse refuse any of Misa's friends from seeing her. Everyday since then she would wake up first thing and stare at the hand held mirror for what seemed like hours, before hiding it away and putting up another smile for her visiting family and boyfriend.

She could easily feel her energy depleting as the symptoms got worse. The pain in parts of her body began to ache terribly, as if someone was crushing her bones and joints, forcing her to limit or slow down her movements. Sometimes she would wake up to multiple bruising on her arms and legs, and forced to hide them behind her blankets.

Suffering Alone

Months passed and she continued to refuse any visitors. Her parents and boyfriend kept coming still everyday in hopes she would change her mind, but still nothing. Soon after another month they all stopped visiting, she was glad. She didn't want them to see her like this. She would rather be alone and forgotten than to be remembered and grieved for.

Another month passed and soon she took notice at her weight in the hand held mirror; she was getting thin, dangerously thin. She tried to eat, but didn't have the stomach for anything. The year passed and she then became too weak to leave the bed, her friends and family were nowhere to be heard of. She stopped letting the nurses come in. The nurses; with her healthy and lovely features, that she missed about herself. It tore her up inside. Would she ever be healthy again?

It had been a while since she had last looked in the mirror, and a bit scared to pull it out. Nevertheless, there was no point in hiding from herself. Her eyes slightly widen seeing how sick she looked, almost to the point of dying. The anger boiling through her veins gave her the strength to throw and shatter the mirror across the room, before burying her face in her hands and spent the rest of her days looking out the window. Watching the people and most of their youth, enjoying every moment of their lives in the pursuit of happiness. Voices from outside and hides the mirror, they were talking about her parents...they were killed. By that time her body and skin was too weak to cry, her voice was dead and could speak no more, all she could do was turn her gaze back to the window.

She was getting closer to the afterlife she could feel it, and everything inside of her was dead. She was feeling tired mentally and physically. A knock on the door but no one announces themselves as staff. She couldn't speak, to say yes or no. The sound of lock picking, door unlocking, and opening...L. Her dear friend after so many years. The white room had helped her never forget him. He was always there for her and always had been, since the beginning of her birth...almost like fate.

He was shocked to see her in this condition, she wasn't surprised, a reason she had never let anyone enter. He sat besides her in her bed, silence between both of them before he spoke. "It's been a long time Misa," she nodded and slightly pointed at the drawer. He pulled it open where it revealed a notebook and pen, before handing it to her. She writes with whatever strength she had left "I missed you."

A Late Confession

He was happy to hear, especially since she never knew about him leaving until it was too late. "How are you?" as much of a stupid question he knew it was he felt the need to talk to her. "Dying," she wrote sloppily. He knew she was having trouble with breathing by the shortness of the breaths she took. At first she thought he was leaving when he got up, but to her relief he simply closed and locked the door, for privacy, before sitting back on the bed. He noticed the shattered mirror in the corner of the room and she knew he noticed. "I looked in it everyday" she wrote, showed it to him, and continued to write not giving him the chance to respond.

"Am I still beautiful?", that question once again returned to him, the only difference was that she asked him directly. He looked at her, her wan white skin with red small spots, her her grey-like blonde hair, her boney thin body and face, and her lifeless eyes that bored into his own. Waiting for an answer. If she had asked him years back he would have answered that she had the physical appearance that majority of society would definitely considered appealing. However, he knew that wasn't what she was looking for, what she wanted to hear. The question repeated itself over and over in his head, like a broken record. His heart was beating faster and faster. If he learned anything while being the world's greatest detective was that some questions can't be answered by all the mind's logic.

He knew his answer, "...yes... you are beautiful...always have been and always will be to me." Her dead eyes grew wide with disbelief from his obscure confession. She would have cried of joy if she could have. Instead she slowly lifted her index finger and dragged it lightly from under her eye to her jaw line, to show an invisible tear. He understood taking his own finger and lifting her as if wiping it away. He drew his face near her hand and gently kissed her finger on his. "You have been with me all my life", the notebook said. He nodded and she wrote, "will you stay by my side from now on?"

Sweet and bitter Kiss

It was a tough decision for him, only because it was grievous to see her in this condition, hopeless. "Yes... for the rest of my life." He could have sworn he thought she smiled, before writing something else. However she didn't show him, and tried to shift into bed. He helped her slide under the cover as she watched the window for a bit. She closed her eyes as he drew closer to Misa, placing a kiss upon her forehead.

Chances were she didn't feel his kiss, because the moment he took her pulse... she was dead.

He sat there longer watching her sleep quiescently for what would be the rest of her life. His gaze directed to the notebook in her hands. Sliding it from her cold fingers, he turned it around, curious on the last thing she wrote. On a clean sheet of paper in big words from something that had happened long ago, words he was familiar with.

"I could actually fall for you," that was the moment he realized... he had always loved her.


End file.
